Writing vs. Writer

I've read about wanting to write vs. wanting to be a writer.

Me, I want to write more than I want to be a writer.

So what does that mean? Allow me to illustrate by telling a story.

In January of 2009, I went to the New York Comic Con. I had a still-cooling first draft of A Monstrous War in my hands and wanted to talk to some writers, editors, marketing people, and whoever else would talk to me about the industry. I wasn't going to pitch (This is not the place to pitch, and I wasn't ready anyway), I just wanted to get the lay of the land.

I spoke to an undisclosed editor, who told me point blank that this was not the time to try to sell a traditional fantasy novel. If I wanted to get published, undisclosed editor said, I should write urban fantasy. The only way traditional fantasy would be published, they said, was someone had to be in love with the book. I'm paraphrasing, but the gist was, an agent and editor had to be willing to put everything on the line to get it published.

I was told my book had better be a very special book if I had a chance.

Now, my first reaction was to say "Don't worry, it is." However, I just nodded and asked undisclosed editor how their weekend was going and wished them the best.

I could have went home, shelved A Monstrous War, and tried to write an urban fantasy novel. Actually, that's a lie -- I couldn't have done that. Because I didn't have an urban fantasy novel in my head that needed to be written.

If I wanted to be a writer more than I wanted to write, then I would have grinded one out, and maybe it would have cut the mustard in a hot market, but it wouldn't have had any spark or magic.

I want to write. I want to tell the stories I have in me that need to be told. I just don't have that mercenary quality. If someone asked me to write for an anthology, and I thought I had something worth it, I'd go for it. But if not, I'd have to pass.

Because of that, what I write is always going to have magic in it.